Unemployment Update no. 3

in which i contemplate striking out on my own

After switching things up last week with 7 Things to Do Before You Get Laid Off, I’m back with another Unemployment Update.

It’s wild to me that it’s already been over a month since I got the news I would no longer be employed. What is time? Christmas feels like it was both yesterday and months and months ago. This may also be the longest January on record. It feels like I’ve lived several lifetimes over the last six weeks.

My post-employment journey so far has been all over the place, emotionally. It took awhile for it to sink in that I really don’t have a job anymore. For awhile it just felt like I was on vacation. I’d find myself thinking of things I needed to get done for work or things I wanted to research and then remember, oh, I don’t do that anymore.

It’s strange. On the one hand it feels incredibly freeing - my time is wholly my own. On the other hand, I feel kind of useless? Like who am I without a job? Which is ludicrous because of course none of us are our jobs, but it does feel as though I’m a bit “less than” if I’m not making some kind of income. That’s capitalism for you I suppose.

It was also grieving the loss of so much more than a job. The job is whatever, really. As corny as it sounds, it’s the people I’ll really miss. My old company truly did employ the best of the best. Sure, I’ll keep in touch with some of them but I know eventually we’ll drift apart and move on with our lives, and it’s kind of heartbreaking. I’m moving past that initial sadness now. I don’t suddenly remember I won’t be seeing everyone on a company trip and commenting on the food and how we just want chicken nuggets and pizza. If any past colleagues are reading this: know I miss you terribly and I hope you get chicken nuggets and pizza on your next work trip.